Mothers worry about their children long after they stop being children.
So if a son is getting older, still single, spending too much time in cafés or not looking after himself properly, of course she notices.
But marriage is not as simple for young people as it can look from the outside.
A lot of them are worried about money. Rent, housing, weddings, furniture, bills. They are being told to become independent while looking at costs that make independence feel very far away.
They are also trying to work out what marriage is supposed to look like now.
Some grew up with traditional expectations about husbands and wives. Then they hear completely different ideas from friends, social media and the people they date.
Who pays? Who works? Who looks after the children? What does a wife expect? What does a husband expect?
That confusion is real.
So when every family visit includes, “When are you getting married?”, it can make marriage feel less like something good and more like another area where they are falling behind.
The harder you push, the easier it is for them to avoid the subject altogether.
If a friend is worried about her son, reassure her before you join in with the panic.
Ask what he actually says about marriage.
Perhaps he wants it but does not feel financially ready.
Or he is worried about choosing badly.
Maybe he has no idea what kind of marriage would suit him yet.
And if he is overeating, gaining weight or living on takeaway and coffee-shop food, do not immediately decide he needs a wife to sort him out.
There may be stress behind it. Boredom. Loneliness. Poor routine. Comfort eating. Sometimes life is simply not going very well.
A wife is not a rehabilitation programme.
Encourage him to look after himself because he matters now, not because he needs to become acceptable to somebody’s daughter.
A mother can still hope he marries.
She can introduce him to someone if he is open to it.
She can talk about marriage.
Just leave enough room for him to answer honestly.
Habibti xx Reads the Room.
Sometimes the best way to help somebody move towards marriage is to stop making them feel chased by it.
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