Not every mother-in-law shows affection by saying, “I love you.”
Some show it by handing you a recipe.
She tells you how much cardamom goes in the rice. She corrects the way you make the sauce. She shows you the dish her son grew up eating and expects you to remember exactly what she did.
It can be easy to take that the wrong way.
You might think she is telling you that you cannot cook.
She may actually be saying, “I am giving you something from my home.”
Older generations often expressed love and respect differently. They were not always raised to talk openly about feelings. Care came through food, advice, turning up, teaching you things and making sure you knew how the family did something.
That does not mean every comment has to be accepted without question. Respect still goes both ways.
But do not turn every piece of advice into an insult before you know what was meant.
If she is teaching you her recipes, ask questions. Write them down. Thank her. Let her see that what she knows has value.
You might never cook the dish exactly the way she does.
That is not really the point.
Building a good relationship with your mother-in-law sometimes means understanding the language she speaks, even when that language is not words.
Habibti xx Reads the Room.
Sometimes the recipe is just a recipe.
And sometimes it is her way of letting you into the family.